I can not stand animals! There I said it! It is out there in the public domain, I am not a fan, never have been and most definitely never will be. So as a simple request, please keep your pets away from me!
Honestly, you would think I was some kind of Nazi by the way some people act when I tell them that I am not the animal kingdom's biggest fan.
As for the reasons why, well I don't like the unpredictability of them, I don't fancy getting scratched, bitten, or even barked at. I honestly am not totally comfortable with something that I don't know sitting on my lap.
I am terrified of dogs, much to the amusement of some of my mates. I honestly can barely control myself when confronted with 'Man's Best Friend', I often wind up in some kind of Scooby and Shaggy type scenario where I am quivering in someones arms, while a chihuahua yaps away at their feet.
Now as this has been an extreme fear since as long as I can remember, I have often been asked the question 'why are you scared of dogs?' The answer is that I honestly don't know, something happened when I was younger I guess, but I have no anecdote to tell. The other question that winds me up more is 'what is there to be scared of with dogs?' perfectly innocent question you may think, yet this question is normally asked by people who are scared of spiders, worms, and flies; and even by somebody who was scared of butterflies. My answer of the fact that they can maul you to death, seems to be met with, "ahh most dogs wouldn't do that!" Most dogs probably wouldn't, but some will, as seems to happen every year, and I think there's a reason that some dogs are bread to guard and are used by police to attack, yet those bugs are simply harmless. You don't get the police lobbing spiders over their shields when a riot kicks off, but there's always some bloke with his arm locked in the jaws of a German Shepherd.
It's not the animals fault (well not totally anyway) it is more owner.. Owners probably the most patronising words that I often hear when confronted by a dog. "It's alright he won't hurt you." OK well for a start its not alright, I don't care if the dog is going to buy me a car, I am terrified and I don't want it near me. Also can somebody be so lazy that when a somebody is visibly frightened by something that they have control of, that they use that throw away comment.
Also I often find that my lack of compassion for animals, puts me in a situation where a dog or a cat is thrust in my face in order for me to face my fear. Well I am sorry guys I am not your experiment or your 'faced his fear' story. It has been done and done again, it hasn't worked, I am happy with that, so get your furry mongrel out of my face.
So basically this is a message from me and others who are less enthusiastic about other animals, leave us alone, we don't like your pet, we don't want to get to know it, we are not your experiment, so keep their filthy mits away from us!